Monthly Archives: September 2024

Summer training thoughts

Bay Quarab gelding with thin blaze and white sock on right hind

I guess you could title these two photos as what a difference a year makes. In the first photo, I had no idea that I was working with a gaited horse. I just knew I had an unknown horse of unknown background, more or less, and that he desperately wanted to have his own people. Plus he had absolutely no sense of boundaries, much less that “whoa” in hand meant “stand still.”

How things change. I pulled hair on Marker about midsummer and sent it off to Texas A & M for DNA typing. I was half-expecting Morgan to come back in the mix, but what did come back was…Quarter Horse, Missouri Fox Trotter, and Tennessee Walker. A bit of reading revealed that the Walker influence is strong in the Fox Trotter breed, and that there are some who are crossing QHs with Fox Trotters. As a result, I suspect that this is what Marker is–QH x Fox Trotter. His temperament matches that of Fox Trotters, for the most part, but where I see the huge influence of Fox Trotter? Under saddle work.

It’s probably a good thing that I had nearly a year’s worth of riding on the boy before I learned about this mix. I knew he needed to come into condition, but had no idea about his past training or anything along those lines. So I followed my training instincts, honed by nearly 28 years around assorted professional trainers. I’ve never been particularly wedded to any one training school of thought but have taken in bits and pieces that seem to fit what each horse I’m riding needs. I figured out pretty quickly that Marker needed conditioning before I moved up to canter with him, and noticed that not only was he inclined to swap leads easily on the lunge line (which can also be a sign that the horse needs to work on building strength) as well as under saddle, but that he had a lot of problems picking up leads, period. Plus he needed to work on seat and leg aids, accepting contact, and comfort with a rider who uses seat as well as hand and voice.

All of that takes time. That plus I wanted to expose him to Life while under saddle, so…we spent a lot of time on gravel roads just schooling, working on contact and aids in the snaffle bit while exposing him to Scary Stuff. As his trust in me grew, I became able to talk him past things that worried him. I also noticed that while he Saw Things, he was much less reactive to them and more likely to check in with me about “is this something scary?”

But then there was the gait. Once we moved into the Western saddle, it became clear that what I thought was a smooth jog was some sort of easy gait that wasn’t walking or trotting. And that he really, really liked doing it. But the real “AHA!” moment was when we went to push some fence-creeping calves back into their field, and he lined out after them in a big fast trot. Mocha would have gone into a gallop but…he was really covering ground with that trot. Hmm. I pulled hair, got the results, and decided it was time to find out what, if anything, I needed to do differently in training him further. The gaitedness explained why he might have some cantering issues–amongst other things, once I started reading, I realized that it was harder for him to pick up a good canter from his easy gait, which I think is fox trot. That gaited horses do better when you ask them to canter from a walk, reversing what’s typical with a non-gaited horse, where canter from walk is harder than canter from trot or, in Marker’s case, from an easy gait.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, my focus on just riding while developing contact and responsiveness to leg and seat as well as voice and hand was just the thing to do. I had figured that he was ready to move up to a curb bit by midsummer, but that the bits I had weren’t going to work for him. Searches online didn’t turn up the bit I wanted, which was a loose jaw medium port curb with a copper roller that had snaffle loops as well as curb rein loops, so that I could turn it into a Western Pelham. As it turned out, I found it in the local feed store, on sale, and that I should have been looking for it under a different name. Not that it mattered. I started him out in the curb with two sets of reins for a week or so, but moved him on to one set of reins and neck reining. He’s making great progress at this level. We’ve edged into doing short canter pieces, per what I’ve been reading from experienced gaited horse trainers, but I’m holding off on big stuff until we can do more work on the flat. Right now this work happens in a sloped pasture field.

Under saddle work isn’t the only place where he’s showing improvement. Last summer he was very pushy at the gate, very pushy when being handled, and had issues with standing still on a ground tie when given the whoa command. We made some progress on this throughout the winter with the guidance of the old Mocha mare, but this summer when they moved away from the big herd and there were fewer distractions really gave us the time needed to focus on improving the behavior.

Now I can open the wire gate wide. Marker stands and waits for me to finish. I halter him, then halter Mocha. Lead them both out, ground tie them, then close the gate. Old Mocha has preferences about where she walks on the road, so for part of the way she walks on one side of me, then exchanges sides with Marker, then switches again before we go to the truck where I sit on the tailgate and hold their buckets while they eat their grain. These days they’ll just about automatically do the switch without me cueing them. They stand quietly next to each other for eating grain and grooming. And…Marker has learned to stand quietly. Much of that is Mocha’s influence. The old mare has always had strong opinions about proper horse behavior, and she’s been busy doing her share of the training. Sometimes just having her stand there, cock a hind leg, lower her head and drowse has had a soothing effect on him.

I’m happy with how things have gone with the training this summer. Where we go from here–well, we shall see. But it’s gonna be fun.

Comments Off on Summer training thoughts

Filed under Uncategorized

Dancing with writer burnout

Burnout. That’s something we all dance with as writers.

I hit the wall late last fall and didn’t work my way past burnout until just recently. Oh, I could keep writing on the work-in-progress, though it felt like a slog to get my usual 2000 words a day composed. But it was the only thing I could even begin to do on the writing front. Everything else–other stuff I had committed to, including volunteer activities as well as participating in virtual conventions just felt like I was getting more responsibilities piled on without any benefit to me. I did everything people recommend to organize my life and keep it going, but…I still kept feeling like I was dragging my way through the ’60s TV version of soul-sucking quicksand. And I had taken several organizing courses for writers just that spring!

Nothing helped. I couldn’t think of ideas outside of the work-in-progress. No short story notions. Even contemplating prompts made me flinch. I couldn’t write blogs beyond the weekly writing accountability posts I had been forcing myself to do. Keeping up with certain tasks became really difficult. I didn’t do any quilting or embroidery work. TV–which is something I’m not wild about to begin with–just didn’t appeal. I couldn’t make any headway with promoting my work because no matter what I did, nothing seemed to happen to get more sales–which fed into a continuing sensation of why am I doing this? Add to that getting cut in the first round of an indie writer contest with one of the nastiest four star reviews I’ve ever received, from a reviewer who openly admitted that this particular story’s soft magic system was a style they did not enjoy, and…that killed any notion of me writing further stories in that world.

Worst of all, I couldn’t find much enjoyment in reading–and I am one of those voracious readers who devours books eagerly. Now some of that is due to a developing cataract, but I also just. couldn’t. do. it.

I was irritable, annoyed at the world, and the only bright spot besides the work-in-progress was working with Marker. Last winter was a training struggle for us, but I’ll write about our current training status in another blog.

Yeah, there were things happening around me in real life that made the burnout worse. Politics. Aging stuff and dealing with long-term planning. Decisions to be made there. A wakeup call on the health front–not me, fortunately, but the spouse. Downsizing decisions. Books to sell–and absolutely nothing was moving, including things that normally sold well such as the fantasy series. On top of that, Substack appeared to be on the brink of imploding, I was losing my newsletter program (TinyLetter), and there were major changes happening on the email newsletter front (DMARC, DKIP, etc etc etc) as well as the Substack political mess. I bounced between several platforms before I found one that seemed to work, only to see my subscription numbers collapse. I couldn’t justify the expense of the top-rated programs based on my numbers.

What a mess.

Solving this issue didn’t happen very quickly. It’s fortunate that I do not depend upon my writing income to survive, because otherwise I would have been screwed over big time. It’s taken nearly a year to pull myself out of this mess and I’m not entirely sure it’s completely gone.

But. I started thinking about things late last spring. The first thing I realized is that I’ve turned out a LOT of work during the pandemic and following social isolation. The four books of the Martiniere Legacy. Beating the Apocalypse. The three books of People of the Martiniere Legacy. Federation Cowboy. The A Different Life duology. Becoming Solo. Bearing Witness. The Cost of Power trilogy. Something like sixteen works of novella-length or longer, since the fall of 2020. At times I was juggling a Kindle Vella serial, a Substack serial, and another long form writing project, while telling myself that yes, I could multitask. Oh, and I also released a short story collection, Fabulist and Fantastical Worlds.

Then I recognized the phenomenon…my ability to create was falling into the same sort of brain fade that I and other teachers experienced on a yearly basis with regard to reading. I had the great good fortune to work with experienced, long-term teachers who loved reading and creative pursuits. We even had a small exchange library in the staff room. One of the subjects that sticks in my mind from our lunchroom discussions was how the ability to read complex books faded over the course of the school year. At the beginning of the school year, complex books weren’t just easy to read, they were fun. As the year progressed, it became harder and harder to focus on those books, until at the end of the school year, our preference was for lighter reads. The ability to read improved over the summer, just in time for the cycle to start all over again.

I realized that the structures I had started to create for myself at the end of 2022 into 2023 just weren’t working, in part because they were, bluntly, a time suck. Yeah, it was great to have an executive meeting with myself every week and use that to plan the week ahead–but writing it up as well as taking the time to think about it ended up being a chore. I wasn’t getting stuff done because it was too overwhelming and in all the push to get stuff done I wasn’t recharging myself.

So. I stopped flogging myself with the weekly executive meetings. I gave myself permission to stop writing anything unless I really wanted to do it, with the exception of editorial work on the work-in-progress. I kept putting off attack ideas. I looked at what was bugging me about my office–primarily rampant disorganization that made me tired every time I looked at it–and asked myself what was missing. As it turned out, I needed a place to sort paper and write by hand comfortably. I pushed out my expectations for the next big project. I looked at why I wasn’t blogging and realized I needed that little endorphin rush from Substack feedback for my blogs instead of the black hole of nothingness that happened elsewhere.

I gave myself space.

Am I back? Not entirely. But I have ideas for several blogs, some of which require research and planning. I’ve finished a short story draft and will be revising it next week. I have a half-finished concept that I’ll be poking at for the next few months which mixes already-written work with new additions. I need to revamp my website and make it leaner, more effective. All sorts of little, niggling things that need to be simplified that I now have time to do. I’m not planning to start the next big project for a couple of months, depending on some things lying ahead.

At the very least, I feel like I’m getting away from that dire swamp. I’m not completely clear of the burnout–but I’m reading again. Ideas are stirring.

I guess that’s enough.

Sigh. This is where I put in the plug for the new release and a plug for the Fund for Horse Cookies.

Link for The Cost of Power trilogy

Buy the horses some Cookies!

 

Comments Off on Dancing with writer burnout

Filed under Uncategorized

Getting organized…oooh that awful housework stuff!

 

(vector by happymay, from Depositphotos, uploaded in 2014)

So why is it that it took until I was sixty-six years old to regularly start making my bed without being prompted?

Until recently, I had the attitude toward housework as a necessary evil that needed to be done but not necessarily organized. Oh, I did the usual chores but stuff like making the bed wasn’t that big a deal. If anything, I shoved a lot of housework chores into “must be crammed into a short period of time so I can get back to doing what I want/what the job demands.” Which…made sense, but also chunked up housework into big jobs that got put off instead of doing them in bits and pieces.

What brought this change? Was it the lockdown and continued social distancing? Sorting through stuff to downsize in my elder years? A weakening of my feminist principles? Or just a factor that “well, I’m retired and at home, I need something to do to distract me from writing?”

Or all of the above, perhaps?

I’m not sure. Part of this move is, I think, a reflection of my move toward organizing and simplifying my office, and moving outward from that. Mucking out the shelves that held a lot of my office supplies went a long ways toward organizing the office because most of what I need is either easily accessible or visible. Though I do need to clean papers off of my writing desk (and that is noted in the planner for this week).

Some of this increased focus on organizing and planning housework is also a reflection of dealing with aging and the consequences thereof. It’s a lot easier to manage the house if the piles of books and papers are…fewer. Not so much to trip over, knock over, or get lost.

I’ve also gotten past the notion that certain things need to be blocked together. Vacuuming…well, that needs to be the whole house. But dusting before vacuuming? Not every week, and not at the same time.

Other factors come into play, too. Making my bed wasn’t very easy when we had a mattress on the floor (which was spouse’s preference for many years, until I put my foot down for a platform setup because my hips were objecting to the floor placement). Even though we got a platform, I still didn’t make the bed regularly for years, in part because access to both sides became a pain due to tight quarters. But even when we moved and had more space, I still wasn’t doing it regularly.

Then we got a new, thicker mattress. While the sheets and bedding still fit, I found that I needed to redo the bed a lot because sheets and bedding didn’t stay tucked. Making the bed daily got around that obstacle. But a change in bedding style from years ago also made a big difference. Unlike when younger, I don’t use a bedspread over blankets, but either have a quilt or a comforter on the bed. I don’t tuck the pillows underneath the bedspread because I don’t have a bedspread and the quilt/comforter isn’t that long (lemme tell you, getting that coverage over the pillows so that it didn’t look like I just pulled it over the top was a pain, much less getting things even…yikes). But somehow, as a result of the new mattress, I realized I could just turn down the top edge like they do in hotels…so much easier. Now I usually make the bed when I get dressed for the day, unless something such as plans to wash sheets or travel interferes.

Allergies also play a role. With the increase in wildfire smoke every summer, both spouse and I are more sensitive to house dust and pollen. Getting organized about cleaning reduces allergen exposures for both of us.

Acknowledging my ADHD is a factor as well. I tend to organize myself more these days because the combination of aging and ADHD is not fun. Add ADHD to the typical aging working memory overload (which I think is a big factor in senior forgetting about stuff that isn’t dementia-related, especially in retirement) and I’ve seen the need to pull myself together with external reminders that work for me. That last piece is the crucial one, because there are a lot of systems that bury themselves in complexity which ends up being problematic in its own way. Or the system relies on handwriting which can be problematic with my arthritic hands. If a system is too complicated or too reliant on handwriting, it ends up falling by the wayside (such as my attempt at writing accountability last year which dragged me directly into extensive burnout).

I think I have a system that seems to work, for now, based on my current circumstances. But I still laugh at myself, because now I’m going through and doing housework stuff that a few years ago I would have snorted at doing.

Like bed making.

On the other hand, it is nice to have the bedding in order at bedtime, and not rumpled chaos.

Hey, if you like what you just read, don’t forget to toss a coin into the Deprived Horses’ Cookie Fund over at my Ko-fi.

(no, they’re not really deprived, they just think they are)

Comments Off on Getting organized…oooh that awful housework stuff!

Filed under Uncategorized