Despite all appearances, I’m more than a bit of a closet romantic. You couldn’t necessarily tell it from appearances in my thirty-year marriage, nonetheless, we’re both a bit on the romantic side. Our forms of romance tend to take the shape of the small pieces of everyday life rather than the big, showy stuff.
Case in point, last night. DH and I started talking about Valentine’s Day. He asked what I wanted. My response was “wasn’t that why you gave me that coupon to pick out the chocolate on Saturday?” He thought a moment, considered some other treats he’d picked up over the weekend, then grinned.
“I’m more on top of it subconsciously than I thought!”
Well, yeah. That’s what both of us tend to do. To me, romance is as much about the daily interactions as it is about the Big Showy Stuff. The Big Showy Stuff is good for movies and books, but in real life? What counts is the daily stuff, the daily small kindnesses and attentions. Those moments when we anticipate each other’s thoughts in order to get things done. That, to me, is as much romance as the Big Gesture. “Happily ever after” isn’t the big stuff, it’s what you make of the small, everyday stuff.
No, I probably won’t get flowers today. NBD.
I might, however, buy flowers myself. Because that’s what we do. And he likes them as much as I do.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
